Thursday, 16 July 2009

Thursday 16th July 2009

Wooo I got my first comment and I didn't have to bribe anyone. I hate how insincere I always sound, I never mean to sound it but every time I do say something nice it always sounds so false. Compliments are another thing, it's hard to not think that the other person will think you're only giving them a compliment in order to get something in return. Be able to take compliments is an ability I lack, I always think they're just trying to be nice or worse being sarcastic and you never want to take a compliment and have the other person start laughing after you say thank you.

My blog post titles are pretty damn dull, posting the date in the title when it says the date right underneath is a little pointless but when I start a new post I never really know what I'm going to write. The actual title of the blog is bad enough, it has no meaning, I just looked at the windows and thought " Hey, those windows could do with a clean............MUM CLEAN THE FRIGGING WINDOWS!! ". I suppose I could drop the cat on the keyboard and see what it types for titles but sadly he only speaks french.

Going back to what I said right at the start about getting a comment, which is always nice unless it's not a nice comment then it's not....nice. Anyways I'm not even sure how many folk have actually read any of this. I suppose I could let people who I actually know read this but that would only add like a couple more people at best and to be honest the cat doesn't type that well when it comes to comments. For a starters he struggles with the language barrier and I can't read much french plus his paws hit more than one key at once which leaves him frustrated and eventually he just gives up. It's a shame really, I believe he could of been a fantastic writer, he spends hours looking out of the patio windows inspired by nature and he loves to ponder lifes mysteries whilst have a quiet moment in his litter tray. Ah damn was feeding the cat and now I've lost my train of thought.

I like football ( soccer ) and participate in some football forums which have mainly been about transfers and speculation at the moment. Most of the talk has been about Real Madrid and Manchester City and the volumes of cash they've been spending on transfers and wages. I do read the news and there has been a lot of recent plane crashes, which is awful. It got me thinking about the tragic Munich air disaster which happened in 1958 I think where the Manchester United squad were aboard at the time and a lot of people lost their lives and wondered if that happened today to Real Madrid or Manchester City what the cost would be. It's a terrible thought and I sincerely hope it doesn't happen but it makes me wonder do clubs take out insurance on expensive players? The way I talk which is usually wry makes things seem like a joke when I don't mean them too and makes me want to state I wasn't trying to be funny in this paragraph.

Trying to be sincere is pretty difficult and as I previously stated what I tend to say comes out like dry humour. When I was talking to my doctor, he was asking me about suicidal thoughts which isn't an easy subject to talk about at the best of times, however I'm sitting there, I begin to talk and I find myself saying "..... the problem with it, is none of the options seems particularly safe,it's not like where you have a gun and it's straightforward, pills could give you a stomach ulcer and I don't think that would be a pleasant experience, hanging I can see a lot of rope burns happening there..." . My doctor looked at me and he did agree that they're not safe.

I struggle with talking and delicate situation make it a hell of a lot worse but this was awful, I was trying to stay calm, speak clearly and put my thoughts across, sadly all I did was get muddled, therefore looking like a bloody idiot. The worst thing is I was being sincere.

I've wrote a fair bit today and I think I was actually thinking of writing more but have forgotten what. Today, I took my first tablet and so far haven't noticed any side effects except feeling sick but I usually feel sick when I have to go into the public domain.

The blog lies I posted this at 16:11

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