Wednesday, 30 September 2009

Wednesday 30th September 2009

Did have something planned to talk about today but now I'm going to talk about something else again.

PARACHUTING TEDDY BEARS!!! oh wait nothing new to say about them.

Oh well

Yesterday I was sitting peacefully playing World of Warcraft when my father came home from his Tuesday night food shopping. He goes on a Tuesday so he can but a lot of the cheap use by today crap. He came home with some chicken breasts, steak rump and other crap and then expected me to start cooking it all so it doesn't go off. It was already 8pm by the time he had got in and I personally hadn't eaten anything yet. Since I'm the best cook in the house and I am, I get lumped with all the cooking. I wouldn't mind if it was food that I liked to eat but it's whatever he finds cheap. After 45minutes I had on a vegetable curry, chicken curry and a beef stew. During which he comes in and starts making himself a baked potato (in a broken microwave, he's trying to kill us all) doesn't bother to make anyone else anything even though I'm slaving away cooking all this crap. What's the point in buying 15 doughnuts when it says eat on day of purchase and there's only 3 people, yes they're only 1p for 5 but who the hell is going to eat 15 doughnuts in 3 hours?

Before going shopping he noticed the rolls my mother had brought in and even said to me " I assume your mother has been home since these weren't here this morning" 2 hours later after coming back from the shops, he pulls out 2 bags of cheap rolls and says he didn't know there were any in the house. So now I have to eat 15 doughnuts and 20 odd bread rolls in 3 hours or they all go stale. What's wrong with buying food that at least lasts a day?

Before going with my mother today, Dougie thought it'd be hilarious to make us chase him around the front garden.

Today I had to go with my mother to some person to pick stuff up, I'm not sure why I needed to go apparently the woman is a bit of a bitch and there was meant to be some heavy lifting. There was no heavy lifting, all the boxes were light, I know old people are frail but that was a joke. The woman was one of the not posh people but wants to give the impression of being posh so she looks superior people, which was fun. I rarely talk in these type of occasions so when standing towering above people I just look like a bouncer, which is fun. We managed to get lost on the way there and the way out, you'd think we'd of learnt our lesson the first time round but nope we didn't. It was in a place called Dollar which is along the foot of the Ochill hills were I was on Saturday.

On the way home we stopped by the best chip shop in the world Corrieri's, I got a sausage supper, freshly made. It was awesome. Want more now. I used to get it everyday for my lunch except Tuesdays when it was shut when I went to Stirling University. Wish I could go back just for that.

Just rambling on.

Tuesday, 29 September 2009

Tuesday 29th September 2009

No pictures today sadly. It's really annoying that my best ideas for subjects come around 2am when I'm trying to sleep. I try to keep a note of the better ones in the draft section of my phones text messages but I either forget all about them or I've no idea what I've actually put down. This is quite common especially for people who I text whilst asleep.

Anyways I did this quiz that was supposed to give the sex of your brain. Part one was about looking at angles and matching the angle shown to the one on the diagram, I found this rather easy and apparently men do find it easier than women.

The second part of the test was spot the difference, you had memorise a set of objects for one minute then after that minute they switched around. The average score for men is 39% and the average score for women is 46%, that shocked me, I got in the 80% range, I didn't think it was that hard. Apparently women do better at men in this part so that balances out my male brain from part one.

Then it asked about clasping your hands together and seeing which thumb is on top. My left thumb was on top so apparently the right side of my brain is dominant. It says " you may excel in visual, spatial and intuitive processes. " I don't think so.

Part three asked a few questions, for empathising and systemising. Average for men is 7.9 / 20 and average for women is 10.6 / 20......I got 7 / 20 oh dear. It states

" Empathisers are better at accurately judging other people's emotions and responding appropriately. If you scored 15 and above, you are very empathic and would be an ideal person to comfort people in a time of crisis. Women in general are better at empathising. "

Thankfully I'm not in a caring job then if this test is anything to go by.

The systemising section of this part states

" Systemisers prefer to investigate how systems work. A system can be a road map, flat pack furniture, or a mathematical equation – anything that follows a set of rules. A score of 15 and above suggests you're good at analysing or building systems. Men in general are better at systemising. "

I achieved a score higher than average for men and greatly higher than that of women. I feel it's quite correct since I am rather good with equations and numbers. With that I think I should be clearly male brained by now.

The next part of this asked you to look at a series of eyes and pick an emotion that the eyes seem to tell. The average for both men and women was 6.6/10 and my score was 7/10 so about average. However it states

" Your result suggests you are a good empathiser, sensitive to other people's emotions. Women generally fall into this category."

So that completely contradicts what the first part says.

Part four was to do with the length of your ring and index fingers. Average for men was 0.982 and for women was 0.991. My results came to
Right hand 0.91
Left hand 0.96
Slightly worrying that one of my fingers is so different in length, I assumed they'd all be the same.

It states

It's thought that your ratio is governed by the amount of testosterone you were exposed to in your mother's womb. The ratio of the length of your index finger to the length of your ring finger is set for life by as early as three months after conception. Even during puberty, when we experience intensive hormonal changes, the ratio stays the same.

Men generally have a ring finger that is longer than their index finger, which gives them a lower ratio than women, whose ring and index fingers are usually of equal length."

So I must be like super manly by now.

Part five was looking at faces, thank god it wasn't faeces. It showed 21 different pairs of faces and you had to rate them according to which you preferred. My results showed I prefer more feminine faces but I'm pretty sure I knew that anyway. It does state something strange though that I didn't know,

"Interestingly, women's preferences are said to vary across the menstrual phase. A more masculine face is preferred during the 9 days prior to ovulation, when conception is most likely."

Part six asked you to mentally rotate 3D shapes and select the correct one(s) from four. I found this not too hard since I actually did something very similar in a job test recently. Again men are said to get more correct.

It then asked you to write as many words as you can think of associated with grey and then happy. Women do slightly better than men in this test but they don't actually correct the words so you could write horse down 25 times to make yourself look smart.

Weirdly the average score for men was 11.4 words and for women was 12.4.

However it states,

"If you produced 1 - 5 words: You are more of the strong, silent type with a male brain. You probably find it easier to express yourself in non-verbal ways, preferring action rather than words.

If you produced 6 - 10 words: Most people in this range have a female-type brain."

So that means basically nobody has a male brain for that task

Lastly it gives you an ultimatum, you are given £50 to split with someone, what would you demand? I said £25 since that's basically fair. The test says men are more likely to want a bigger percentage of the money than women due to higher testosterone levels tend to make people risk more.

After all that I found out apparently I have a female brain, not sure how but that's what it said. However then it states

"Bear in mind that your performance may be affected by many factors in addition to gender, like age and intelligence."

So basically I just wasted my time to find out nothing.

OK well that's taken up a fair amount of room, I was originally planning on writing about something else but I'll leave that for tomorrow now, as long as I remember.

Oh and doing a spellchecker on this wasn't a good idea, too many things are wrong according to American English.

Monday, 28 September 2009

Monday 28th September 2009

As I mentioned yesterday there was an event in Scotland with parachuting bears and here today is some of the photos taken by my brother in law. He had taken more but apparently they didn't come out well since moving objects are blurry.

Stand up, salute them all and for once be proud to be beartish. Don't let their achievements go unnoticed.

Well this is a picture of the target the parachuting bears had to aim for. The flag is the emblem of the Seagull Trust.

A brave little bear dressed in his leathers. Not sure if it's leathers for flying or just for kinky bearness.

Not sure people realised that parachutes aren't shopping bags from Tesco. I think the government might of entered this bear to see if they could apply some more military budget cuts.

A scary looking man who I guess was the chief thrower offer.

Either getting ready to throw another bear or eat it.

Seems the answer was throw it although I can't really count the limbs from that image.

Another bear supporting the Tesco bag parachute coming to a war zone near you soon. Don't think supporting is the word I'm looking for but I don't attend many fashion shows to remember the term for wearing an item of clothing.

Looks like the bear was scared, look out below. Was it the height that scared him? The prospect of jumping off an aqueduct or the menacing looking man who looks suspiciously like Adrian Chiles?

I doubt that's going to end well.

What a good parachute, the bear is smiling and even has time to wave at the crowds below. We salute you.

Ground control to Major furry.....come in major furry.

A good looking parachute but seems like this bear was so scared of heights he's wearing a blindfold. Of course he may of been part of the kinky bears regiment.

Such a perfectionist, he's even looking for his landing spot.

Looks like there's not much air in that parachute. I predict a heavy landing.

Carnage on the bearttled field.

The injured participants being stretchered off to the first aid tent. Heroes everyone of them.

Opinions on these events bear faced cruelty or a teddy bears pic-nic?

I have the sad news to report that two of the bears died overnight in hospital from injuries received whilst landing.

R.I.P Mr Biggles. Your leather chaps with the posterior cut away were a joy for us all to see. He died from overexposure.

R.I.P Mr Mascarapanda. He died from being hung by a passing Asda bag, if only it was a Tesco bag he'd of been fine but no it had to be Asda. Sadly he was disqualified from the competition after one of the other competitors noticed that he was a panda and not a teddy bear. All he wanted was to be accepted. What makes some of us pandas and other teddy bears? Why can't we all get along?

Disclaimer : Please note that no teddy bears were actually harmed in this event and if they were I don't actually know. I do not believe Asda shopping bags are any more of a danger than Tesco shopping bags and I in no way support using Tesco shopping bags when jumping off of high buildings to parachute to the ground rather than that of the Asda brand. I do however believe that neither will allow you a safe fall from distance. I can however say that I do not know that for a fact and you may or may not be safer with a shopping bag when jumping out of a plane. I do believe there has been no official research on the matter and I firmly believe using a proper tested parachute is safer.

Sunday, 27 September 2009

Sunday 27th September 2009

Picture shamelessly taken from Wikipedia. It's a picture of the Falkirk wheel, an expensive boat lift joining the Union Canal and the Forth and Clyde Canal together. Built to commemorate the millennium it'll soon be joined in the area by the Helix project which will have two large kelpie heads that will move to displace water, hilarious for anyone with a fear of horses.

When people talk about the Falkirk wheel they always praise it's iconic structure, how it's the only one of it's kind in the world and so on but I'm curious to know what people who aren't from this area or country think of a big boat wheel. So leave your comments.

Today at the Falkirk wheel was some strange event involving parachuting teddy bears, I'm being serious, here's the link. I wasn't personally at the event but my sister and her husband were. Luckily I have the good news of reporting (thanks to a text from my sisters husband) that there were no decapitations or serious injuries to teddy bears during their jumping, just pride and admiration.

Congratulations to all the brave teddy bears who took part, you're an inspiration to us all. I shall now dedicate this blog entry to those teddy bears fighting overseas who keep us safe from food poisoning, ants and rabbit violence at pic nics.

Saturday, 26 September 2009

Saturday 26th September 2009

OK so today features some pictures, as per normal they're just taken with my phone so they're not going to be the greatest pictures in the world. My sister, her husband and I went for a walk up Alva glen. Alva is a small town/Village located along the foothills of the Ochil Hills, not too far away from Stirling.

After wonder if it was going to rain most of the morning it turned out to be a rather nice day and to my horror a rather warm day. Warm to me of course is probably not warm to most other people. The pictures are in order of when I took them starting from the bottom and walking up the hill. I have more pictures but some are pretty much the same and others are not very good which is the cameras fault for not being able to shake at the same frequency as my hand.

Over in the distance somewhere is Falkirk, Grangemouth and other places.

This is a tree. I believe it's name was William but I wasn't formally introduced.

This is a wee river which flows down where we came up. We mocked it by going uphill, take that gravity. Was a nice wee walk would of been better if I didn't have a cold which reduced my breathing capabilities making me sound like a wheezing old man. Add that to the fact I didn't wear the appropriate attire, I had pondered for a while in the morning which trousers to wear, I choose the bad option it seems, picking my baggy jeans that like to come down my posterior while I'm walking. This is why I usually walk with my hands in my pockets. Yes I could wear a belt but do I really want to? This made the walking harder than it had to be when we reached rocky ground, having to hold your jeans up whilst climbing up or down a small rocky area is not ideal. Thankfully I took off my baggy hooded jumper and left it in the car before we started otherwise I think it'd ended up being drenched in sweat. I did however remember to bring my walking boots which always helps. I think naked hill walking makes sense until you factor in nettles, thistles, gorse bushes, hungry birds and the police.

Ideally once you reach the top you should be able to just roll down the hill like when you were a kid, however I think vertical drops and rocks make this an option for more experienced rolly down the hillers. Which I am not, I haven't rolled down a hill in many the year. I wonder if that's why some girls have bigger busts than others? Like suspension on a mountain bike, air bags in a car or bouncy castles in a prison.

As I mentioned yesterday, it was my last day on my course. The lady in charge asked me to do some typing for her which I was more than happy to do since it makes the time go by faster and helps. I can't believe how many errors were in the notes I had to type, they weren't written by her, these were official published aides to help people like her. I forgot to tell her about the changes I made to correct spelling, correct types of words and correct poor grammar. I'm wondering if I should email to explain things I changed and things I noted that should be changed but I don't want to look like some creepy stalker.

Whilst I was up a hill today Falkirk were playing against Kilmarnock in the SPL. It ended

Falkirk 0 - Kilmarnock 0

Despite only drawing, Falkirk now move off the bottom of the SPL on goal difference thanks to St. Johnstones loss to Dundee Utd. It's still going to be a long season. Six matches played, thirty two to go, so far three draws and three losses.

So last night whilst at my sisters I was playing Need for Speed Shift on the XBox360. It's a driving game and unlike most driving games you get points for either being precise whilst driving or aggressive. Being precise involves, overtaking other cars without contact, keeping to the racing line and other things I didn't really pay attention too. However aggressive driving gives you points for hitting other cars, spinning them and drafting. Needless to say I used aggressive tactics, ramming people of the road, spinning them off and using them as brakes to go round sharp corners.

After some gaming we watched a couple films. One of which was Crank 2 . I haven't seen Crank but the sequel was hilarious. I've no idea how it didn't win an oscar, how can you not enjoy something that involves a man having to run himself against an old lady to keep himself alive with friction.

Going back to games, I've been playing World of Warcraft since it was released and had been enjoying it until the latest expansion. Now Aion has been released and my friend from World of Warcraft started playing it yesterday, he says it's good but I'm a little uncovinced so far. The graphics look great but the characters look rather like feminine humans and I prefer my characters to look more like fantasy characters should be. I think I'll try it soon though just to see what it's like.

Thursday, 24 September 2009

Thursday 24th September 2009

So today I wrote a couple of speculative letters to apply for jobs that aren't advertised. It's apparently common practice but to me it just feels rude. One of the guys who helps there was very helpful with it, after I wrote my first one he came over and checked it and said it was very good which pleased me since it was my first ever. Comparing it to the guy who I talk to on occasion who was sitting next to me mine was like war and peace. You're supposed to write between four and five paragraphs, he wrote that but each of his paragraphs were one sentence long. His first sentence was " Please find enclosed CV." I really do hate sounding so mean especially when someone has taken the time to talk to me which I genuinely appreciate. Although I can't believe he applied to Ann Summers.

After I got home from my clearly exhausting day I fell asleep for a few hours. God I'll miss afternoon naps when / if I get a job. What's better afternoon naps or money and self respect? It's a toughy. In my defence I had a horrible night trying to sleep, everytime I put my head down I started coughing. Today I've been coughing a lot again but now I'm coughing up a lot of those little green chewy bits of phlegm.

Thanks to my afternoon nap wiping out the time I had set aside for lunch it means all I've had to eat so far today is a couple of Trebor Softmints. I'll balance this out with dinner soon consisting of a plate of chips and a whole chicken. Why can't vegetables taste like duck? I'd be healthy then.

Wednesday, 23 September 2009

Wednesday 23rd September 2009

Another match and another loss for Falkirk. It was a third round tie in the Co-operative insurance cup aka the "diddy" cup against the holders Celtic. It ended

Falkirk 0 - Celtic 4

I didn't think we'd win but I was hoping maybe we'd give them a decent match. I hope they win soon.

Sooooooo I was at the doctors again this morning, started to get anxious before going in, I always start to panic in the little consulting room once the door is shut. I start to feel nauseous and worry I'll be sick and it'd be so embarrassing, despite the fact I have been sick at the doctors before and blocked up his sink. That was a lovely afternoon.

My mother decided my nerves were fine and chose not to see an oncoming car and pulled out in front of it. I'm not a good passenger, I have an invisible brake I stamp my foot on.

After calming down and lunch I went to Stirling to the royal infirmary to have my heart checked, it has a leak in it or a hole or something along those lines. I try not to listen cause it'll just make me paranoid, not sure why they keep thinking my star sign is cancer, I wish they'd stop writing it on my files. Anyways, I went in, got to sit around for 30minutes cause the doctor was running late. YAY for me, I get 30 minutes to work my anxiety up further woooooooooooooo. Once I finally went in I was greeted by some strange doctor and some other guy who'd be sitting in, I think he said he was some sort of nurse type dude but whatever he was he was kinda creepy. My writing is awful but this doctors handwriting was just scribbles with a fancy pen. All he did was ask me questions then say mmmh huh. Following that I went to get an ECG with some very very short old lady. I didn't exactly like being taken into a dark room and being ordered to strip to the waist, it got worse when she pulled the lube out of the cupboard. Laying half naked on a bench while some old lady attaches pads to your chest then orders you to roll onto your side so she can put her arm over you and rub the probe over your chest is not my idea of fun afternoon.
It got worse when whilst she slowly moved the probe around she softly asked " Is this your first time?" I hope thats not how all ECGs are.

The nightmares will come later, they will come. They always do.

Sunday, 20 September 2009

Sunday 20th September 2009

Unfortunately the place where my sister and her husband were on holiday got flash flooded so they had to cut their holiday short so that means I'm back at home sooner than I had expected. Woke up with a sore throat and a cold too. I hate having a cold, it's just so annoying having to sniff a lot and your nose running every 5 minutes. Added to the fact that nothing tastes the same which is meh. Bad luck continued when I turned my computer on, the monitor keeps going to black, no idea whats wrong. Was working fine recently. Anyways I've swiped my mothers monitor in the mean time.

I just watched the highlights of Manchester Utd V Manchester City, great match to watch and awesome to see a Scotsman scoring goals in a world class side.

It's quite depressing coming home, compared to my sisters it just feels darker here and dreary. It just makes you feel more depressed. It's at least twice the size of my sister house though but her house feels more like a home rather than a day care centre. Oh god I'm going to miss having that shower.

Saturday, 19 September 2009

Saturday 19th September 2009

A mixed day with the weather today. Started off relatively dull and grey, followed by some light rain, then it dried up and now in the early evening it's sunny outside.

Whilst in the rainy phase of the day I went to the shops to get some more food to hopefully last me until my sister and her husband are back from their holiday. Cost me another £27 odd but about £8 of it was on some chicken breasts which will do for two nights dinner. Bought some spring onions and peppers too. I'm not a big fan of vegetables but I normally use a couple of spring onions and 3 colours of peppers when I'm making stir fries With a sauce added to them the chicken and the noodles you can't pick out the vegetables and together it tastes rather nice.

I know a lot of people do jokes about women drivers but after today I can see why. Nothing to do with cars but trolleys. My mother was pushing the trolley and she wasn't watching out for anyone else, wasn't checking both ways before pulling out of an aisle and worst of all she blocked off some aisles and looked one way without turning around to see there were people wanting by her. She wasn't the only one, there were others doing it too. Saturday afternoon is an AWFUL time to try shopping. I think there was only three men in the entire supermarket who weren't employees, the rest were females, slow females. There should be speed limits in supermarkets. I can understand why the wee old ladies take so long, they have to wait till they have their entire body weight behind the trolley to make it move. I wonder what would happen if I waited until they had one foot off the ground ready to inch forward and I gently pushed the trolley back a few inches. Heavily pregnant women are even slower, I feel sorry for their partner / parent / child / sibling who's pushing the trolley for them while she puts one hand on her back and danders around the shop slower than the average brain speed of a ned attempting the Times suduko puzzle. Why can't women learn to shop like men? It's easy. You get your trolley, run towards the aisle then lift your feet off the ground and go weeeeeeeeee until you reach the item you want. Quicker AND more fun. I should point out weeeeeeeeee refers to the noise you make while you fly along and not to the act of urination although that might happen accidentally if your trolley goes out of control in the entertainment aisle, those cheap plasma screens add up to a fair amount. Speaking of bodily fluids I was going to make a remark about spilling water behind pregnant women and then saying their water has broke but hey that's not fun enough.

What you need is to bring an electrochemical cell with you, make sure you can get a power source then go up to the pregnant woman and ask to borrow some water. Now set up the electrochemical cell, attach it to your power then begin electrolysis, moments later you'll have broken the water into oxygen and hydrogen and now you can confidently approach the pregnant woman and tell her that her water has broke, you even have proof.

Falkirk were away to Hamilton today it ended

Hamilton 0 - Falkirk 0

Another point but we're still bottom of the table, a point behind St. Johnstone.

I was doing washing the other day, it was getting dark and the washing was still out. I wasn't sure what to do when the clothes were still damp so had to phone my mother and ask.

Thursday, 17 September 2009

Thursday 17th September 2009

Nice sunny relatively warm day in central Scotland. Slept in today and woke up at 10:05, not great when my course starts at 10am. Had a quick shower, a slow shave since being quick with sharp blades near your throat never sounds like a good idea, no breakfast, quick consumption of medication then a short 10minute walk up to where the course takes place. Got in around 11am. Luckily I redeemed myself with showing some good work on the task she had given me. I know I'm not a computer genius and I get a lot of things wrong but I like to think I can figure stuff out for myself one way or another however it seems bizarre to me that a lot of people don't know basic computer skills. By basic skills I mean, know what caps lock is for. There was a guy beside me who was slowly typing out his CV fully in capital letters. He had to ask me how he gets to the next line, of course being a kind hearted person I showed him the enter button plus some other things. The same guy was on the course with his daughter which was quite surreal to me. I've only heard of take your daughter to work days before, never anything about employment courses.

I don't mean to sound nasty it's just the way I think. I know there's a lot of people out there who can't read or write which I find quite difficult to comprehend especially since the majority of my family enjoy reading. I'm pretty sure my mother has borrowed most of the library. I was trying to imagine something that would be like being illiterate but I kept thinking of being blind although there so much more to enjoy with your eyes than writing. I can't really think of a good comparison with being illiterate. It's something I take for granted and probably most other people do too, it must be hard for people who can't read the paper every morning. Ah I've thought of a good comparison now, it's like being in a foreign country. I guess aliens will also have the same feelings but that sounded mean. Although the aliens might have a babel fish which can allow them to understand other languages, according to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy anyway.

Currently typing this while I cook a pizza so hopefully I'll be finished in 12-20 minutes. Spicy chicken pizza if you're curious. I was putting it in the oven and noticed the cats medication and saw that there were 3 tablets left, I was puzzled for a minute thinking 3 was an odd number to have when it's 10tablets in total, 1 to be taken twice a day = 2 a day. After consulting with a local panda I realised that I hadn't fed the cat yet. Ooooops, I feed my cat Dougie at 4pm and he usually starts reminding me around 12pm and every 2minutes for the next 4 hours (unless he finds a box then he'll go to sleep in it for a while) whereas Keira is rather quiet, well behaved and gets fed at 6pm. Dougie has also figured out how to feed himself however he hasn't quite grasped the concept of quantity yet.

He also doesn't understand the concept of sharing. When he catches mice it's a nightmare trying to make him give them up, just stands there hissing, biting down on the mouse harder and leaving a little trail of blood. As most people are aware there's a credit crunch at the moment thanks to the banks being rather irresponsible. I know there's many reasons to be annoyed with the banks but personally I'm more annoyed with all the resulting tv shows talking about all the fat cat bankers. Dougie kept hearing this and now I can't get on my computer with him spending all day doing online applications to RBS. He doesn't understand they won't accept CVs that are in french.

Falkirk is a weird town, especially during the day it's full of old people everywhere or young mothers. Then after the schools are out or sometimes before you start to get congregations of skater / emo types. There's a skate park near my sisters so there's even more places now for them to pack together. They always seem to stare at me when I walk passed, especially the female ones, not sure if it's paranoia or wishful thinking. They always seem so small too, which I guess makes them look cute but I always feel strange because to me short = younger. This of course is entirely false since my friend Cat is a midget and she's older than me, also I've never met a old lady taller than me but that might be down to osteoporosis. My old laboratory partner at university was only 5ft5 which I thought was tiny and she was really thin so made her look even smaller but apparently 5ft4 is average height for girls. I just find it really hard to tell the age of girls, I probably insult most of them by saying they look 12 or some look in their 40s.

Paranoia or not I do feel looked at, maybe it's because of my height, I'm not a giant, I'm around 6ft4. I think maybe clothing has a part to play in it too. I wear brands like oakley, o'neills,DCs and quicksilver which are more associated with alternative sports rather than the mainstream sports like football. Speaking of football, if you walk around Falkirk you'll see mostly Celtic and Rangers tops being worn. I like these types of clothing because they tend to fit more easily, I know the jeans are meant to be baggy but they fit my leg length unlike Levi jeans. Hate wearing tight trousers, feels so snug and can't fit my iPod in my pocket. I believe I need to dress more my age but what to wear? I hate fashion, I won't be caught seen in skinny jeans. Tracksuits are for playing sport, not for everyday wear in public places, nobody has told the neds that of course. A suit isn't very practical and I'm too embarrassed to wear shirts normally, I hate my upper body. Hate my ass too, need to get a sander to remove the spots.

Argh I'm talking crap again. Going back to the subject of females, I was in my course today and the guy who I sometimes speak to said to me " Wow I have an amazing view" I was like " What?" to which he replied " See the girl in the yellow top there, I can see her bra through it". I'm not the most social person in the world but I'm pretty sure that's supposed to remain in your head and not be said aloud. I don't want to sound rude again but in my opinion looking at wasp stings is not my idea of a good view.

Tuesday, 15 September 2009

Tuesday 15th September 2009

Was at the shops today getting food for a few nights meals and was shocked to find it come to over £33. It wasn't anything special and won't last me the whole ten days which sucks.

Just watched Underworld : Rise of the Lycans, one think I've noticed from several vampire tv shows and movies, there's never any fat vampires or ugly female ones. Not that I'm complaining about Kate Beckinsale or Sarah Michelle Gellar. Another thing I've noticed in light of being introduced to the plot line of a film called Twilight, that vampires in everything but that do NOT sparkle. I only found out about the concept of Twilight last Thursday by the guy on my course who was saying how crap it was. There's a lot of information out there describing how bad it is, the only people who actually seem to like it are young girls who want to be the main female character in the film. You shouldn't really criticise something you've never seen however the information on the film/book just sounds awful and unvampire like.

Hearts won tonight in the SPL to leave Falkirk 2 points adrift at the bottom.

Monday, 14 September 2009

Monday 14th September 2009

At my sisters now. Was wrong about the cat, it doesn't seem to of been attacked, it has bee punctured by a fence or something like that. Really quite sad, she has one of the cones around her neck so she can't lick the stitches but it gets in the way of her food bowl. Speaking of her food, I have to crush a tablet into her meal but she won't eat it so I'll be trying it in milk later. She's really quite a small cat compared to Dougie, she's cute even though she has a black chin which looks like an evil goatee. Would post a picture but I don't have the software here to upload images from my phone.

I thought my sister and her husband were off to Portugal but they're not, they're away up to kingussie again. I was up there with them overnight not long ago to see the wildlife park which is when I took some of the pictures that I've posted before. I think they'll probably go to the wildlife park again since they're near by and they might get to see the tiger cubs easier now that the school holidays are over.

I'll be staying here for around ten days I think. I had thought I'd miss my computer especially World of Warcraft but I think I was playing it out of routine rather than the same enjoyment I used to have. I still like it but don't have the same compulsion that helped the game be titled World of Warcrack by a number of people. However I would like to get my gf to play, trying to hook her on the fluffy creatures aspect and cute Gnomes, tactically omitting the violence involved. Not sure that it's working though.

Not sure the crushing the tablet in the milk worked. The powder, even though as fine as I could crush it still settled as sediment on the bottom of the milk bowl.

That was one bad result of the night, currently waiting for the Falkirk match to finish. Ends

Falkirk 0 - Aberdeen 0

Finally Falkirk have a point. Woooo

Sunday, 13 September 2009

Sunday 13th September 2009

Seems to be a bad news day, some worse than others. The trivial one comes in the form of a two nil win for Hamilton versus Hibs in the SPL which leaves Falkirk the only team without a point at the bottom of the table. They Play Aberdeen tomorrow night, here's hoping that they win too.

The other piece of bad news is my sisters cat has been attacked again, she came home to find it with a puncture wound at the top of the leg. The cat was taken to the emergency vet and got stitches and I think some antibiotics. She's not allowed out now for obvious reasons, it'll be a hard job since she likes going outside but I don't want anything to happen to her while my sister and her husband are away.

Saturday, 12 September 2009

Saturday 12th September 2009

Dougie playing peek a boo in his box.

Very nice day today outside. The sky is blue and the sun is shining. I was meant to be going with my sister and her husband to some hill racing but sadly I slept in, they're probably annoyed at me now since I was meant to be staying at her house last night but slept in then too. Don't know why I'm so tired at the moment.

They'll be going on holiday on Monday so I'll be house and cat sitting for them. I'm looking forward to being able to use a shower rather than have to have baths. I always feel paranoid that someone will see me and phone the police since I'm not them. It'll mean no World of Warcraft for a while but I don't think I'll miss it that much. The thing I'm most worried about is her cat, last time I was there it went missing for a day which worried me since one of her cats went missing previously and never came back. There's badgers and foxes around plus the garden is beside a railway line. Not too long ago the cat got attacked by another bigger cat and needed to go to the vet which wasn't pleasant. Hopefully nothing bad will happen to it while they're away.

Wednesday, 9 September 2009

Wednesday 9th September 2009

I've forgot to mention before something about this date. It's 9 / 9 / 09 and for some strange reason this has been a day when a lot of films have been released.

Getting part of the roof fixed at the moment and it's an awful noise. They've made a fair mess too which makes it look a darn sight worse that it was. Added to the fact that the overflow pipe was going and I didn't have much idea of how to actually fix it. It was brought to my attention by one of the neighbours which was embarrassing, she said it was OK cause her car couldn't get any dirtier which made it feel worse. I just put my hand in the water tank, since I'm too tall to stand up in the attic and fiddled with the ballcock. At first I pushed it down which didn't seem to do anything so then I pulled it up a little which seems to have stopped it.

Going back to the roof, I think there's 3 people working on it, I can't see them but can hear them talking easily enough which makes it weird. I hope there is roofers there and I'm not hearing voices again.

The medication doesn't seem to be having much of an effect at the moment, although I'm not sure if it is or not. Maybe my brain just makes things seem worse than what they are but was feeling rather down this morning. I hope I can get a job so I don't have as much time to think. I worry that if I do get a job I'll just panic.

In the Scottish Daily Express today there was an article on black widows being found in empty whisky barrels near Alloa. Alloa isn't too far away from me and I dislike spiders so now I'm going to be even more paranoid about them.

There was also an article about banning alcohol adverts, which personally I would of said is a good idea but I've always liked the guinness adverts. Did find it strange that an advert for vodka was shown during the day, it was one with fancy dress, can't remember which brand it was. I think it was for vodka anyway.

Scotland V Holland tonight, fingers crossed for a Scotland win.

Tuesday, 8 September 2009

Tuesday 8th September 2009

It seems stupid now but until very recently I thought " the pill " only came in one type and that's why it was called THE pill. Now thinking about it, just like every other medicine someone might be allergic to one type but not another. I blame the fact that I never needed to know and that's why I didn't know.

Monday, 7 September 2009

Monday 7th September 2009

So in today's newspaper on page 2 the news was that the girl from Harry Potter has started university in America. Not sure why this is news really. I remember starting university for the first time and it was just an anxious time. I stayed at home during my time at university so I don't feel I got the university experience that people normally have and certainly not the type that's portrayed on tv and film.

Just like school I didn't really have a place to fit in at university. I wish I had made more of an effort now with both the social aspect and the academic side. Sadly you can't change the past.

Friday, 4 September 2009

Friday 4th September 2009

So I was in Falkirk and walking along the street, there were some low hanging branches so I stepped off the kerb to walk by them. There was a guy stood just after them and when I walked passed he said " Do I smell that bad? " . I didn't answer him, it confused me that some short person who I didn't know would just say something random and in an aggressive tone. Sometimes I feel I should just act on impulse and thump them but morally I know that's wrong. Generally I am an angry person but I can usually keep it bottled inside till I'm alone.

Little things just grate on me and annoy me more and more,

  • People smoking in no smoking areas.
  • People smoking in no smoking areas and officials doing nothing about it.
  • People who eat really really loudly so you can hear every chew.
  • People who say they'll do something in a minute but are still sitting after 10minutes.
  • People who put their feet up on bus seats.
  • Kids who sit for the entire time they're on a bus pressing the stop button and nobody does anything about it.
  • Old people who take ages to get on the bus then get off at the very next stop 100metres down the road.
  • People who talk in the cinema.
  • When my father puts meat into a cold pan then lights the gas.
I could list more but it wouldn't be particularly productive.

So today wasn't a good day. Was raining and grey in the morning. I felt fine for the first hour but then I was at the job centre. Turned out the girl who was working there was from my area and her big sister was in my year at school, no idea who her big sister actually was but she told me she's married to someone from just around the corner from where I live. Who was a prick at school. I was feeling nervous before sitting down so this long drawn out conversation was making it worse. I say conversation but it was mostly her talking and me saying yes or no. She then got up to get a couple of print offs which took ages and she stood talking to one of her colleagues. Girls.
I was very thankful to get out of there and feel the cool breeze outside.

Getting the bus home was even worse. It was crowded and some girl sat on the seat opposite me and then put her feet up on the chair beside me. It was a 4 person seat like a pic nic table without the table and better chairs and inside a bus. I felt trapped which made me feel nauseous and panic. It was only about 1 minute into the journey and I was sure I was going to be sick. I bit my lip to take my mind off the nausea but it didn't help much. My palms were starting to drip sweat, it was horrible. The girl got off at a stop just before leaving the Falkirk area, I had hoped that would calm me down a bit but sadly no, my stomach was still churning over. At this stage I bit my lip so hard I could taste blood. Frantically I searched my iPod hoping to find a song that would take my mind off of the journey. It helped a little but I began to panic more, it felt like the whole bus was heating up like a sauna, my constant fidgetting with my hands was beginning to progress into an accidental self chinese burn. Every bus stop we passed I thought to myself that's one more closer to my stop. We reached Bonnybridge and ran into road works, it felt likes ages that our side was at red, every car that passed made me more and more nauseous. I wanted to get up and get off the bus but I didn't want to cause a scene. Eventually most of the people got off the bus and I started to relax a little, finally I made it to my stop and by god I was thankful. The palpitations subsided, the palms began to dry and relaxed. I love being outside in the fresh air. It felt so good.

Walking the rest of the way home I started singing to myself The Smiths: Panic. I didn't knowingly pick that song but " Panic on the streets of london" just entered my thoughts.

I hate how anxious I feel just using public transport, it wasn't always like this so why now? Argh :(

Thursday, 3 September 2009

Thursday 3rd September 2009

Not a nice day today, was raining heavily and the sky is grey. In some places there were large puddles covering the whole width of the road, deep in some spots too.

Was at my course today but only till 12pm. I had briefly spoken to someone the previous week and spoke a bit more to them today which made the day slightly easier. Also one of the people in charge was looking over my CV again, he thought I should try to bulk it up a bit more after the lady had told me to lighten it. Grrr. He spoke to me for a while and I began to feel nervous and nauseous but resisted temptation to stand up and go to the bathroom to calm down. Instead I tried to forget it and say over and over it's all in my head. Not sure if it worked but I got through it. After tomorrow it's just 3 weeks left.

Wednesday, 2 September 2009

Wednesday 2nd September 2009

Don't know why but feeling very tired today. I woke up this morning at around 9am then I must of fallen asleep again but I could of sworn I was awake for the next 2 hours talking to someone about whats on tv tonight.

I wonder why Tesco don't offer cheap weddings, they've got plenty of aisles.

Tuesday, 1 September 2009

Tuesday 1st September 2009

Today I've mostly been watching the football transfer deadline. I had hoped to see some big transfer news but doesn't seem to of happened. There was a rumour that David Silva was at Old Trafford but nothing else has been mentioned since this afternoon. Quite disappointing really. You always hope Ronaldo says he made a mistake going to Real Madrid and moves on a free to Falkirk but never seems to happen.

Also been talking about football on another forums, someone disagrees with me on my point that Scottish football is getting worse. His argument was that no team in the bottom six of the English premier league would be able to come into the Scottish premier league and finish 3rd. As they currently stand I'd think that any team in the EPL has a chance of finishing in the top 2 of the SPL. He then said he meant after taking into consideration the money lost from moving from the EPL to the SPL, which is rather a lot different and something you can't really predict without seeing what money they generate from what avenues. I'm sure any team in the Scottish premier league would jump at the chance to play in the English premier league, you'd get more money from being relegated in that division than you would from most positions in the SPL. I guess the only drawback is the fact you wouldn't have the same easier chance of getting into Europe.

I can't remember what I was actually going to write about.

Oh well despite slow cooking my stew for hours and hours still the carrots, turnips and potatoes are hard. Annoyingly the beef is cooked and I've a feeling it'll get ruined if I cook it any longer.

Received another job rejection today but this time they said they'd keep my details on file in case another position came up, which I thought was rather nice.