Monday, 8 March 2010

Chuggers, cooking, runners and of course the obligatory moose.

Lets see what day is it today? Oh that's right it's Monday. Got a few days worth of information stored up, just a shame I can't remember it all properly.

Lets try and start with Friday. Firstly I went over to Falkirk, met my brother in law in town and we went to get ingredients for cooking. After a quick trip into Waterstones since I had forgotten to bring the recipe and couldn't remember what I actually needed to buy we were attacked by a midget chugger who came up to us and asked...

" You know what I want don't you?"

I replied " No......."

She asked again.......again I said no.

She then turned to Chris ( Chris is my brother in law, I'm getting fed up writing that all the frigging time ) and talked about charities. I can't remember the whole conversation but I made some Falkirk based jokes. We eventually escaped her clutches and went into the Jeremy Kyle audition centre and made our way to Marks and Spencers, picked up what I guessed we needed then made our way out after chibbing some old people who got in our way.

Soon after our exit from the incredibly warm shop known as Markies we were once again attacked by a chugger, this time a little blonde one. She quickly came between us and put her arm around Chris and tried to get me too but I was smart, I stepped to the side. After making it clear we weren't interested in anything, she told us a joke, a very very bad joke.

We then went swiftly to the butchers to obtain the main part of the meal, the beef.

After noticing he had plenty of time I went with Chris to the cafe where he was meeting his friend. I did feel rather panicky in the place but for some reason after moving to a different table where I could see the window and freedom after Chris's friend arrived I felt calmer. Finished my drink and left them in peace as I went to subway for a lovely footlong sweet chili chicken sub.

Some time went by then I made dinner of a basic beef stir fry, it was quite nice but not the best thing I can cook. Both my sister and Chris said it was good and I ken I should accept the compliment but I can't help but think they're just saying it's good to not hurt my feelings.

This was also the day that I started my moose smuggling business, Chris had got me an early birthday present. A moose. From now on he'll be known as Montgomery. Despite the language barrier myself and Montgomery bonded fast. We were to become good friends.

In the last afternoon I received a phone call telling me someone had phoned about my CV and wanted to speak to me. My father had told my mother this, not sure why I wasn't the person to notify. He also didn't tell her the persons name or the company it was for so the message was frigging vague. With the use of the internet I managed to find out who it was and proceeded nervously into phoning them. I called twice but no answer, it was soon after 5pm and didn't think anyone would be there. I then phoned my father to quiz him on it and ask the persons name but nope he didn't remember.

This is a man who complains I don't have a job, he complains when I don't take messages for him, complains I do nothing when he fucking doesn't do anything to help. He doesn't understand anxiety, he doesn't understand depression, he doesn't actually know what I want to do, he doesn't know anything about what I know how to do. I spent years studying science, science is what I know. I apply to a fair amount of jobs, I hate not doing anything. Just sitting is making my anxiety worse. I want to do something constructive. I don't want to be a bum. In a year I've had a lot of rejection letters, 2 interviews and now a phone call about a job and he doesn't take an appropriate message and doesn't even fucking tell ME!!! the person who it's fucking for about the fucking phone call.

What makes it even fucking worse, I come home to find he blames my mother for not giving me the message soon enough. SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK?!!! I have no idea how I've managed to never swear at my parents.

Later that night we watched Smoking Aces, I'm not sure what type of film it's meant to be but we found it pretty funny.

On to Saturday. A day of fun and frolics.

Chris's uncle was running in a double marathon so we went a long to watch. I felt a bit anxious at the first checkpoint we visited and did think I was going to collapse into the canal. What fun that'd be.
Montgomery at the Falkirk wheel supporting Chris's uncle and cheering on the other runners. The second picture has some advice that would of been useful to some ravers later in the day.

Before leaving the Falkirk Wheel he visited the memorial to the brave parachuting Teddies who lost their lives back in September 09 .

From there we went onto Muiravonside country park. It had been a long trip for Monty so he had a rest

Before sampling the national drink

and phoning his family back in Sweden.

After phoning his family, Chris, my sister, Montgomery and myself went up to the Aquaduct to cheer on the runners.

The path was very narrow so we had to stand at the end. Monty rushed out and attacked a runner who then came hobbling up to us on the brink of tears, we denied all knowledge of the moose and for the rest of the day put him in a disguise.

On the way back to the car, Monty had another drink

before grazing on some good Scots grass

After reaching the car we drove along to another spot which had more ned cars per person than any other place in the world.

We then drove on to the second last stop and Monty tried to board a bar barge for a drink. Moose were not allowed.

Getting increasingly more hungry Monty decided to stealth himself and wait for the hobbling runners to pick them off one at a time.

The runners took their time so he watched a donkey try to mate with a Shetland pony. No pictures of it.

It grew darker and darker, coming across a mild mannered man taking pictures of the sunset, Monty tried his hand at photobombing.

The day came to a close and Monty thanked everyone for a wonderful day by emitting a small beam of light through his antlers.


  1. Be re-assured the food was genuinely tasty ;-)

    Your fasser needs to lay off the out of date stuff. It might not addle his brain so much. Lol.

  2. Two things: Awesome moose pics. :) Especially the Irn Bru one.

    Secondly, we have a science, nature and technology show here called The Daily Planet that did a feature on the Falkirk Wheel last year. Yes really!

  3. Blogger killed a comment :s

  4. Ok Blogger is being weird.

    Awesome Canada knows Falkirk

  5. What's a chugger?