Been quite a while since I actually discussed the subject that actually started this blog. So here's an update.
Was at the doctors today after 2 months, I usually see him once a month but he was on holiday, although I won't see him again for another 2 months. We had a quick discussion about how the world was treating me and about how I looked happier, talked about what I was doing with my time, jobs and the obligatory question on the psychiatrist that never seems to contact me. It's a long long long waiting list but that's like a year now and still no word to even say I'm on the list. Anyways after discussing it and my doctor saying that medication can't cure anxiety we decided to reduce the dosage of my fluoxetine. I don't mind since I have no idea if it was doing anything and I do feel somewhat better. Well I think I do. I know I'm a lot less anxious than I was thanks to going out into public more and I can only remember feeling nauseous once in public in the past few months and that was because I wasn't feeling well.
So anyways along with halving the dosage we discussed coming off it all together eventually. That's where I'm slightly apprehensive since there's a lot of stories and evidence pointing to that being the worst stage and much more prone to suicide than at any other stage. So that's something to look forward to.
Overall I think I do feel better apart from my self loathing on the fact that I'm a fat git which in turn leads me to eating. That's something I'll have to cure myself.